Sale PSA: A sleek puffer from J.Crew, now 25% off, stretch leather boots from Stuart Weitzman, now $260, a pretty tiered dress from Vince, now $170-$255, and easy sweatpants from Frame, now under $80.
I’m a little grouchy today. The weather is wonky and I’m having a harder time waking up in the mornings. For a while I was trying to do a 5 AM wake up to write but it isn’t going very well. Anyway.
I’ve been thinking I’d like a different relation to stuff. Whenever I’ve been stressed historically I feel like all will be solved if I add something…actually the act of online scrolling itself is calming somewhat. But that needs to change. As we get closer to the end of year (!!) I don’t want to approach 2022 thinking that I’ve got so much to unload. I’d like to start now. I expect I’ll be working through these feelings in the coming months, years. I’ll probably write some more posts on the topic. But for now, some of my thoughts on stuff:
I would like a more personal relationship to my items. Given that we’re spending so much time at home now, I would like to have more items around that I feel are meaningful to me, that make me happy. I have a lot of items like that – they’re just in storage, stuffed somewhere, or forgotten. I’d like to be able to touch most things in my home and remember why/when I bought them.
I want to be more thoughtful about consumption. I think I’ve already said this numerous times on this blog. In many ways this space is often used to discuss that tension…the relationship between wanting to get stuff (which for me is fine, I’m not trying to be a minimalist) and not wanting to waste. I think this is a lifelong goal that I will always be working towards, which is why I repeated it here. It’s not that I don’t want to buy. I just want to be more thoughtful about it.
I want to spend (waste!) less time thinking about stuff. Okay, kind of funny words given that I’ve just dedicated a post to writing about how I think about stuff. But I mean more like…the time I spend aimlessly scrolling, the time I spend debating, the time I spend researching random stuff I just return anyway. By far the thing I need most in my life right now is TIME. So why am I wasting so much of it thinking about stuff?
Also, by the way, the image above is from the NYT, from this article – which itself is an interesting read (I found the image by just googling “STUFF”). The racism is….sad and even sadder, not unexpected.
Okay. What are your thoughts on STUFF?
6 Comments
Anna
October 4, 2021 at 9:37 amMurakami Haruki has a New Yorker article about his writing habit titled The Running Novelist that I found totally inspiring. I think one of the keys is sleeping early 😛
Wen
October 4, 2021 at 10:02 amThis post really spoke to me. I spend too much time shopping online and researching reviews, but ultimately not buying most of the items obsess over. Some days I think it’s a true waste of time. Other days I’m more philosophical and acknowledge it’s just something I enjoy. I like learning about new things, debating their merits, and figuring out if they have a place in my wardrobe, my house, my life. We vet and consider a lot of different things, job offers, schools, potential relationships – so maybe I chalk up vetting “stuff” as a hobby and just have fun with it. Don’t know what’s the right answer, but I’m happy to know others are also thinking about it. One thing for sure is I’d like to buy less stuff. It’s one thing to think about buying things because once you stop thinking about them, it’s done. But if you actually buy said item, you are now stuck with it forever and have to make physical and mental space to store and care for it.
Mod
October 4, 2021 at 10:33 amYour last point really spoke to me. I’ve been wanting to develop a habit of buying what I want/when I want (usually those are the things that bring me joy) vs taking note of the item and then spending hours and hours researching similar items, alternatives, bargains, etc. I developed this habit as a means to be frugal and disciplined, but now I feel like it’s a huge waste of and the related indecision and anxiety is just horrible!
It’ll be a challenge for me because of course, impulse purchasing can be dangerous, but I’d like to include space in my home, wardrobe and wallet for things that bring me joy instead of the more practical, more sensible substitute of the item that brings me no joy at all.
Jeannine520
October 4, 2021 at 11:46 amMy problem with “stuff” is that I feel suffocated by it. I’m not an impulse buyer of anything but I have a lot of categories of items I’m always buying so I do feel overwhelmed with the sheer amount of things I have. Not always, but when I can’t find something or don’t know where to store something I’m immediately frustrated about it. A few times a year I end up making a plan to sort things out and it always comes down to organization and lacking the time to tackle it. For example I have nail polishes is 7 places in my house, not in one place where I can easily find what I need. That characterizes how everything is stored. My clothes are the same way, in my closet, my husbands, my kids closets, everywhere. I can’t put an outfit together without feeling like Sherlock Holmes. I believe that if I could have a week or two where I wasn’t burdened with my regular day to day work I could “fix” things. I have about an hour of free time a day and feel guilty if I don’t use it to make cookies or play a board game with my kids.
Xin
October 4, 2021 at 8:39 pmEven though I’m basically a Marie Kondo superfan, I don’t think I saw the 2016 NYTimes article you linked before. The racism-driven hostility towards her ideas (which often involves distorting her actual ideas/writing) is, sadly, not that surprising, and I feel like the exact same type of thing comes up every time she gets significant buzz (e.g., when her first Netflix series debuted). How… illuminating (ugh)… to see that there were shades of this way back in 2016 before she got as famous as she is now, sounds just like Alison Roman’s comments about her in that interview last year.
I’m not sure if you’re leaning towards KonMari method, but I personally love it. I still feel many benefits of it today, after going through the process in early 2015-ish. The method has its limits, including that (1) at least from her first book, it’s a very self-focused process and doesn’t really contemplate dictating how others in one’s household manage their stuff and (2) because I like shopping and clothes and accessories so much, it doesn’t save me from needing to regularly declutter my wardrobe. Plus, although I love so many parts of my job, they can’t really be extricated from some parts I don’t like, so I can’t really KonMari my working life like some of her later work suggests. But I really felt like KonMari method helped me so much with your first two goals.
KonMari method didn’t help me with your third goal, alas. I spend way too much time planning some purchases, particularly basic kitchen items that desperately need replacing and could risk injury. I end up dawdling forever on some of those decisions until forced to make them. I’ve waited way too long to replace things like oven mitts with the protective silicone section starting to peel off, warped cutting boards, a broken pair of kitchen tongs that weren’t gripping well anymore, etc. etc.
Kat
October 8, 2021 at 7:01 amThe racism is so gross. I love that you’re a superfan and I need to re-read the book, I think. I loved it when I first read it.