Two Kids: Two Years

Sale PSA: A pretty yellow pleated dress from Vince, now under $200, a great Theory utility chino jacket, now 40% off, and a really fun tassel bag from Johanna Ortiz, now 70% off.

Also – some great deals on the resale market! Like this Etain Lindy 26 (which I am so, so tempted by), this beautiful rose mini Bolide, and another Lindy 26, this one in Rouge

I know I haven’t done a “child life” update in some time. And I thought I was likely due, as my daughter recently turned two! Seriously, back when I had only one child, when I thought about the fact that I would still have to a) get pregnant and b) give birth and c) survive the first year all over again, this point seemed so far away…and like much of parenthood, time has gone both slow and fast. And I thought I would give an update, as to how all the family stuff is going.

So when I was just pregnant with my daughter, and my son was around one, I remember going to the playground and seeing a mother with two young kids. “When does it get manageable?” I asked her.

And she kind of looked at me with pity and said, “When the youngest is two.”

Of course then she saw my face, and so she corrected something like it’s a sliding scale, it’s so rewarding, blah blah blah. But I could tell that she really meant it. It absolutely was horrifying.

But now, my youngest is finally two, and so I can share:

First: yes, the woman was kind of right. I’m very sorry to tell some of you this! Now that I have everyone over two years of age, it’s getting easier. A lot easier. I have to admit that I was hoping that once my daughter reached one it would be easier and yes it was, but overall it was still HARD. Now, at age two, it’s actually truly pretty good. They walk! They can talk! We can kind of communicate! That helps sooo many things.

There is fighting. I’m an only child (big surprise, I can hear some of you mutter) and so I grew up with a lot of QUIET in my house. I was not used to noise. So when my kids fight, it can be….a lot. I wasn’t used to this with just one kid! There was nobody for my son to fight with (except me). And now, there is so much noise. I used to interfere and referee each fight but now about half the time I try to let them work it out themselves. And on that note…

They truly do entertain each other. This was something I was nervous about when I was pregnant. My son was just one and I couldn’t imagine him ever entertaining himself? But now he’s almost four and he does! And they play together! This was probably the one big, big benefit people kept stressing to me, about having two kids close in age (that and just getting it all over with) – that the two would be able to play with each other more, and thus not require YOU to play with them. I can’t speak for what it’s like with a larger age gap, but ours do play well. They are interested in the same toys and books and can hold little conversations. On the negative side, I’ve been changing diapers for literally four years. But on the plus side, when I’m done, I’m going to be done. Unless we have a third. But I am fairly certain we aren’t going to unless we win the lottery.

And finally…my son will start kindergarten next year! The road to free education is (very, very slowly) coming in sight! Even though it’s technically 14 months away. But MY GOD. The amount I have paid in childcare. And will continue to pay, I know, but at least we won’t have preschool. I feel like when you’re in it, trying to juggle childcare, nanny, preschool, all of it, that you feel like it will never end…that it’s going to be a continuous struggle, that you’ll just be dealing with forever. I kind of almost forgot there’d be a point when my son would start “regular” school. A bunch of my friends have started the “are you going to send to private school” conversation. I’m scared to have this. I went to public schools and am very, very into the idea of free education. Especially given our property tax bills.

PS: Some people are better suited for “small kid life” than others. I don’t think my husband and I were. I mean, I think we were good parents, and tried really hard, but I just like the toddler/older kid stage so much more than the baby. It used to make me feel really bad when I met those moms who had like three super young kids at home and they were doing everything and LOVING it. They do exist! And they bring homemade chocolate chip cookies when they come over to playdates to boot. I used to feel really bad and probably now part of the reason I don’t feel as bad is I’m not in that stage anymore – but also, I’ve accepted that I had a tougher time. I tried my best and I’m still trying my best and that’s all we can ever do, right?

So anyway – that’s an update on life with kids, now that they’re both over two. I hope all of you are doing well or even if not so well, it will pass. I’m thinking of you. And please share in the comments!