Interview with Diane

Today’s post is an interview with a wonderful reader, Diane. What drew me to Diane was some of her comments over the years about her philosophy on closet organization and cleaning…as well as life in general.  A self described Bottega Veneta fan whose temple is The Container Store (who amongst us cannot relate?), I’m sure you will all enjoy meeting Diane!

Who are you? What do you do, and where do you live?

I’m Diane. I’m 68 years old, retired, and I live in the Central Valley in California.

What is your day to day life like? How do you dress in accordance to it?

My day to day life is pretty relaxed. I spend most of my time meeting friends for lunch, reading, organizing and doing whatever nesting project that I decide is a good idea at the time.  Occasionally, I’m asked by friends to help them organize some part of their house.  My favorite area to organize is closets. I find organizing closets relaxing. Taking chaos and giving it a sense of order.  I’ve never understood why more people aren’t obsessed by closets….or finding the perfect hangers. The Container Store is my church…with walls of hangers to worship. Every time I go in there, I find things I really can’t live without, which is truly amazing because fifteen minutes prior, I didn’t even know those items existed!

I’m a “uniform” dresser and my current summer uniform is a linen or cotton tunic over white or denim jeans. Linen is a “must” for me as I live in a hot climate. I also have linen dresses that I wear with cropped leggings. In cooler weather, I have a winterized version of my summer uniform….basically heavier tunics and sweaters over dark jeans and gray pants. Linen dresses change over to knit dresses. Lately, I’ve been reading that wide-legged pants are returning. That could be helpful as I’m a pear-shaped person…with short legs. I used to be like an Anjou pear. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more of an Botero pear. But, in my next life, I’m going to have long legs.

What are some of your favorite pieces in your closet?

A favorite piece is a red kimono that I purchased in 1975. That was 43 years ago! I purchased it for a holiday party when I was first married. I wore it a couple of times, then put it away…for years. Then I dig it out again. And repeat.

My favorite jewelry is designed by Elsa Peretti. I’m drawn to her organic aesthetic and I’ve collected for a long time.  I’ll probably be buried wearing a bone cuff and a pendant necklace. In my 20’s, I collected Native American jewelry.  I was married at the time. Santa Fe, NM, was our favorite city, and we spent a lot of time in that target-rich turquoise environment. I still have a few favorite pieces, but I never wear them.

What are some of the pieces you wear the most? Any go to brands?

Currently, I wear mostly Eileen Fisher tunics and dresses, Robert Zur driving shoes for winter and BV espadrilles/slides for summer. I’ve been on this track for 2-3 years which is my usual time span for a style pattern.  EF seems to be moving into a shorter, more boxy fit, which won’t work on me. I’ve been thinking that I may need to start looking around…. I feel change coming to my wardrobe, although I don’t yet know what that change will be…but I suspect it will involve a lot of searching for a new look & the discarding of things that no longer work. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

I carry mostly Bottega Veneta bags. I love the soft leather and understated styles. Well, until recently, when the designer, Tomas Maier, left. I’m hopeful for BV’s future, but grateful for the collection I already have, just in case BV decides that I’m no longer in their desired demographics. I also have several Hermès clutches, that I’ve been carrying frequently the past several months. I carried a lot of clutches during middle school, so I’m hoping this isn’t a sign of cognitive decline.  (I blame cognitive decline for many of my choices, because sometimes I just don’t want to take responsibility for things I do! )

How has your style evolved over the years? 

I was heavily influenced by Seventeen Magazine when I was starting middle school. I remember shopping trips to SF with my mom around that time, circa 1963. There was significant brainwashing involved: my bags and shoes should ALWAYS match and coordinate with the rest of my outfit. It was a universal truth among everyone I knew. I wore a lot of pastels…..pleated plaid skirts with coordinated blouses and shetland sweaters. Along the way, I was given my first “good shoulder bag”. It was saddle leather with my monogram in brass letters in an oval shape.

In high school (1965), skirts were getting shorter. A lot shorter. I loved mini-skirts. It was The Age of Aquarius.  (Aquarius happens to be my “sign”…whatever that means…)  The late 60’s through the early 70’s, were my college years and my faux hippie stage.  I. Magnin’s was out, Joseph Magnin’s was in. (If anyone reading this remembers those stores….) I think I might have been channeling Cher at the time.

Looking back, I realize that I’ve always drifted back to a minimal aesthetic. I remember seeing designs by Zoran in Vogue.  The simplest clothing ever….in luxurious fabrics.  Outrageously expensive, but I decided that one day I’d wear his designs.  But he disappeared long before I was able to even see his designs in real life. And, considering that a pant and top set in the late 60’s was already several thousand dollars, it was destined to remain out of my reach, even if he’d stuck around.

What’s a favorite story involving a closet you organized? 

When I was married, the first place we purchased was a townhouse. It had a small walk-in closet that we shared. (This was before I came to my senses and moved my things into the guest room closet.) My husband failed to see, or care, that it looked best if his suits were hanging up in order of color, from lighter tones colors to darker ones. Not to mention all those polo shirts in random disarray….so I usually rearranged things while he was in NYC on business, even though he never cared, or even noticed.  He slept like a rock. Late one night, when he was home, I decided I needed to rearrange his side of the closet. So I started pulling out his suits and stacking them on the bed, which happened to be right next to the closet. I piled them up around him. I mean, where was I supposed to put them? Then I saw him trying to turn over. But I had him sandwiched in. He struggled a bit and then stopped. But he didn’t wake up. I got everything back in the closet, which he never noticed. The next day, he was telling me that he had a dream the previous night that he was buried alive.  I finally told him what had happened. He just shook his head & laughed. Then he told everyone at his office what had happened.

You said something I found interesting, about not being worried if people don’t understand you. Where did this sentiment come from? 

I’m serious at times, but I do try to see the humor in life whenever the opportunity is there.  Over the years, I’ve realized that sometimes people see me as odd.  I know this because they’ve told me. I was considered “odd” as a child and that segued into “weird” in my teens, and on into “eccentric” as I got older. I am who I am and I wouldn’t know how to be any different. My father was a psychiatrist (that could be a clue) and I’m sure his influence affected who I am.  When I ran into situations I needed to understand, my father never lectured me. He asked me questions and occasionally offered possible scenarios, followed by more questions. He wanted me to figure out the answers myself……not that I always made great choices, despite his efforts. I don’t think I’m particularly confident….I just think I’m true to who I am. I would never succeed at being someone else. And it would be too much work to try.

Since you love organizing closets, what do you see a common mistake people make with their own spaces?

I think the most common organizational error is to try to organize a closet based on a preconceived idea of how things should be arranged. Photos are great for inspiration but may not work for effectively just because it looks great or works for someone else. Don’t be afraid to reorganize if the first attempts aren’t working. There are many possible ways to sort things out. Item category is the most common and often works but it’s not uncommon to need to shift things around as your lifestyle (and clothing) emphasis changes.

What’s some advice you could share about achieving a minimalist/more streamlined lifestyle?

I think the most common mistake is one I used to make myself. Purchasing something expensive (relative to an individual’s situation) that will either never be worn or will be worn so rarely that it is what I call a “sink hole”. It’s a great piece but it just doesn’t work, regardless of the reason. Keeping it doesn’t change the fact that it isn’t going to be worn. I learned to let go of those reminders of my mistakes….but it took practice. It no longer happens, but it was an expensive education.

I don’t think there is a formula for achieving a more streamlined lifestyle. I think it’s all relative to an individual’s needs and comfort level. By my barometer, I’m not a minimalist, but other people have commented on my house being minimalist, which I take to mean that they see it to be more minimalist than theirs. I think that if someone is questioning their situation, then they are probably ready to change it to some degree. In my opinion, you can’t beat reading about how others have streamlined their lives. Even if you only pull out one helpful insight, it can make a big difference….simply because it’s a start. You know what they saw, the first step leads to the second. There are a lot of great websites to explore. Zen Habits; The Gardener’s Cottage; Jessica Rose Williams;Un-Fancy.

“I have since let go of four of the bags on this rack”

What are some of the mistakes you have done with your closet/fashion over the years?How do you stop yourself from buying too much?

When I get on a specific kick, I tend to “embrace it whole heartedly” (which is my personal code for “overdoing it”). It certainly has its issues, but it’s the way I operate. Because I tend to adopt “uniforms”, I also like to have some variety within the confines of that uniform. I love the Hermes Octogone clutch and the Baton de Craie, as well. I was thrilled when I acquired them. Now, I have two of each. I’m feeling that’s adequate for my needs but there’s always the chance that I might see another one in a different leather or color and pick that one up too. At that point I might reassess and let a lesser loved version go. Or I might just keep using them all.

I have two ways of limiting my consumption: If I have stopped using something, say a specific bag or a style of bags, I let them go. The other is that I absolutely never carry debt. If I’m considering something, but I’m hesitant due to the price, I stop and carefully consider whether the emotional value is equal (in my mind) to the financial expenditure. One thing I don’t do is try to keep things in pristine condition on the chance that I might resell them. I’m not hard on my things, but I don’t pamper them either. I use them and enjoy them. To me, buying something but not using and enjoying it, is the epitome of waste.

What is some life advice you could share? 

I don’t feel I have any profound life advice. I try to stay open to new ideas, even if they seem contrary to my current beliefs or assumptions. I believe that if I never allow my ideas to be challenged, I’ll stop growing as a person. I believe that ‘we are what we do, not what we say we’re going to do’.

If I say something I regret to someone, I apologize. I have no problem saying, “I’m sorry.” I just do the best I can, knowing that I’m going to screw up at times. I try not to allow other people’s actions control my emotions. I can’t imagine getting upset at a person who cut me off in traffic, or something similar. So what? It happened, it’s over, I go on with my life. I am more likely to be upset over something I see as an injustice in the world. There are so many things I can’t change, but I can always acknowledge other people. I think there are a lot of “invisible” people who often take care of the rest of us….anyone who waits on us in a store, restaurant, someone in front of us in a line: etc., and I try not to “sleepwalk” through those encounters. I guess I change what I little can and move on from things out of my control.

A number of years ago I studied transcendental meditation. It made a huge impact on how I see things. I learned to quiet my mind and acknowledge my thoughts. I have not kept up with my practice but the effects of what I learned are still with me. I think time helps tremendously. I’ve had many decades to learn about myself.

I saw a quote posted online once over a picture of a meditating dog: “Kindness. It doesn’t cost a thing. Sprinkle it everywhere.” I think that kindness is especially important today, as the world seems to be so full of chaos.

What are some of your other passions and hobbies?

Besides my obsession with closets & hangers, I love choosing & wrapping gifts. Years ago, I wrapped all my Christmas gifts in wrapping paper I liked, only to later find a wrapping paper I liked better. I unwrapped and rewrapped all the gifts in the new paper choice. This surprised no one in my family….or anyone else who knows me.  I purchase most of my wrapping paper from The Container Store because the weight of their paper appeals to me, as do many of their designs. Each year, I come up with some sort of theme wrap for the holidays. I only have a few children to select holiday gifts for so, I try to wrap theirs reflecting their particular interests.

I also enjoy collecting art. When I can, I purchase from artists I can have some interaction with, so I understand the story behind the painting.

Finally,please share something surprising about yourself! 

I really don’t think there is anything surprising about me, although it might seem odd that I keep some sort of “art” inside my refrigerator.  I’ve had various decorative items in there as long as I can remember…at least 40 years. Might as well have something besides food to look at when you open the door. Currently, it’s a Buddha. Originally, it was a life size green glass head, but that took up too much room. There’s no rhyme or reason to what I put in there….as long as it can withstand the moisture.

I also like repurposing things. I use an old Asian clothing rack as a “scarf closet” during winter. I also use a pot that held a large plant in my mother’s condo, as storage for rolls of toilet paper.